


A reason

by Bablefisk



Series: I've been hiding quite a while [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Non-Graphic Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-01
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-22 03:09:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/908195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bablefisk/pseuds/Bablefisk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a reason why Dean always tried to do what John said, because he knew what was coming if he didn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A reason

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Trigger Warning!

There was a reason why Dean always tried to do what John said.

Dean sometimes wishes he doesn’t remember life before the fire. That he didn’t remember his mothers kind smiles and lovely hugs, and his fathers deep laughter and joy. Maybe things would be easier then. But he does remember.

The months after the fire is a blur. Him and Sam stayed at some friends of their mom’s at first, but after a month or so, John had come and they had been moving though the states since. They got to know kind people along the way; Bobby and Reverend Jim to mention some, and John tended to leave them there, sometimes for days, sometimes for weeks. There was even one time where Dean had thought he might not come back at all, and Dean had been relieved. But then he came back.

Sammy knows, of course he does, but he has no idea how bad it really was. John had asked Dean, more times than he could count, to make sure his brother was safe, to be an adult. The first time, Dean had been 8 years old, and had no idea what to do. So of course things hadn’t gone as planned, because Sam didn’t want to be stuck in a motel room, and had run off down the street, Dean trying to get him to go back. They had been gone maybe two hours, but by then John had come back, and found them missing. His reaction had been horrible, but predictable. A hug for Sammy, a verbal beating for Dean. And later a not so verbal one.

For some reason that Dean would never understand, his dad had decided that he and Dean had to watch out for Sam. There was four years between the two boys, but for some reason, it was okay to put all that crap on Dean from the age of six, whilst Sammy got to know everything at ten, simply because they couldn’t hide it anymore.

Dean had quickly decided that he would protect Sam the best he could, even from their own father, but it was rarely needed. Most of John’s anger was vented towards his eldest son, and he almost always made sure that Sam didn’t see. John never found out about Sam helping Dean clean up in the middle of the night, or how when John told them to to do something, Sam would always look to Dean for a nod, to make sure it was okay. That was between the two of them.

One time at school, Dean had almost been found out by a gym teacher, but they were leaving the next day, and nothing ever came of it. After that, Dean made sure to play up a bad reputation, so that if any teachers saw his bruises, they would think it came from a fight instead of a beating. As his dad put more and more on him, and had more and more anger to vent, Dean’s grades slipped, and in the end he didn’t have the time to care about school.

Every time Sam did something rebellious, Dean was the one that got the anger. That one time he ran away for two weeks, Dean hadn’t been able to walk properly for days, but Dean never told Sam how bad it got. When Sam had left for Stanford, Dean was relieved he found out first. By the time his dad knew, he was half way to Bobby already.

It pained Dean every time Sam stood up to John, not for himself, but because he was afraid that this time would be the one time Sam went to far, and he would receive John’s anger. But it never happened, and although Dean knew that if he only told Sam what was going on, he would be more careful, he just couldn’t ruin Sam’s life like that. So he kept quiet.

When John died, Dean had mixed feelings. He loved his father, but he felt so indescribably safe now. It had felt good, screaming at him in ghost form, where John couldn’t hear him. And he had been prepared to go, he just wished he could be sure Sam would be safe. But then his dad had gone and tried to made up for the horrible childhood, by sacrificing himself for Dean. He didn’t know if it was meant as an apology, but sometimes it didn’t feel like enough, not enough for ruining his life.

There was a reason why Dean always tried to do what John said, because he knew what was coming if he didn’t.

**

There was a reason why Sam never got along with his dad. It had something to do with hunter life, yes, but it had more to do with Dean.

Sam was six years old when he first realized his dad was beating up his brother, and by the time he was eight, he was frightfully used to it. He helped Dean clean his wounds in the night as John slept, and even though John never hit Sam, he learned to trust Dean’s judgment over John’s. He quickly learned that some of the beating were triggered by him not following orders, so he tried to always do so. Sometimes everything just boiled over.

Sam knew that Dean protected him the best he could. He knew that Dean shielded him from John on several occasions, and he never said a word about it.

Sam had seen his brothers life ruined by the man they called father, and he wished Dean would dare to do something about it, but he knew his brother did what he did to protect Sam. Which was why he decided to take himself out of the equation. He had gotten into Stanford, and had told Dean fist, suggesting he take a trip, knowing what would happen if he stayed.

That evening, John slapped Sam for the first and last time, and it was completely worth it to Sam if he could keep his brother safe just this once.

When Dean had come to get him after John went missing, Sam had been a little confused. He knew Dean had avoided their father the last few years, just checking in with text messages, and sometimes Bobby as a shared point. Then Dean explained about the demon, and Sam got it. So he came with, lost Jess, and became closer with his brother again.

When John died, he was sad, of course, but at the same time he couldn’t avoid to notice that Dean’s shoulders seemed to drop just an inch or so from relieve. Sam had always chosen Dean over John, and he always would, so he followed Deans lead, like so many times before.

There was a reason why Sam never got along with his dad.


End file.
